The Death of a Worm
by WeaselDaddy01
Summary: A what-if scenario, based on the original Visual Novel, exploring what may have happened if Shirou had accidentally killed Shinji during the Blood Fort. The idea was inspired by SwordofallCreation's "Fate of the Unknown" series of ideas. Rated T for now, but may delve into M rating.


**Note from the author;**

**For starters, everyone, this is my first real crack at fan fiction. I've done everything I can to mirror Kinoku Nasu's writing style, and I feel that's reflected fairly well. This will only be the first part of my "Death of a Worm" story, inspired by the idea from Sword of All Creation. I intend to add to it whenever I can, hopefully bringing it all the way through to the end of the Holy Grail War, although for now, it's brief. I've included cues to start and stop music from the Visual Novel, more out of my own preference then anything else. For the visual-novel fanboys that may be on this site, I feel it might be appreciated.**  
**The beginning portion of this is HUGELY inspired by the scene that was in the original visual novel, since they both begin the same way. This will be the only part of the fan fiction where the same lines can be found in both this, and the visual novel, and that doesn't last for long.**

**Well... Enjoy.**

Music: Clashing Souls

I run up the stairs. Rider and Shinji are on the third floor; I can tell from the Command Spell's reaction that he has not fled yet. The instant we arrive at the third floor, the familiar rattling of chains sends my thoughts into a swirl. A metallic clang sounds behind me, and sparks shower down onto my head. I spin around; the sense of blood-lust emanating from Rider is palpable; the only thing keeping myself from a certain death is Saber's form, standing resolute between us. I couldn't see it, but Rider must have struck, and Saber must have deflected her attack.

"Shirou, I will defeat Rider here. Please, take care of her Master!" She doesn't need to tell me. Saber won't be beaten by Rider. That's something I'm sure of from my brief exchange with the purple-haired Servant. I couldn't defeat Rider, but I could survive against her; that says enough. Saber's power vastly exceeds hers.

"I'll leave it to you, Saber. I'm trusting you to protect me; this will all end if I stop Shinji!" My body spins, and I break into a sprint. Rider's dagger springs forward, intent on slaying me, and Saber moves to deflect my assailant. I run through the hallway towards Shinji, who is completely flustered at this point. I'm at a disadvantage barehanded, as long as he has his tome. But if I had something that could serve as a weapon-

\- I interrupt my own thoughts by snatching a mop out of a nearby bucket. Water is still dripping from it, but that doesn't matter; with this, I should be able to-

"Trace, on." I pass my magical energy through it as I run. Perhaps I don't have any other thoughts, or I don't have enough energy to do anything else, but I have the most astounding success I've had with magic. I strengthen the plastic mop as naturally as breathing.

Shinji strikes; he attacks with shadows cutting out of the tome. Even though I'm hurt, I don't feel any sluggishness in my body. I don't even need to dodge the shadows now. I smack away the creatures that are attacking me; the mop breaks, but that's to be expected from a weapon so hurriedly constructed.

Besides, I've got him now; there's no need for anything like that when I'm this close.

"Shinji!" He lets out a scream of terror, turning to one of pain as I swing with all of my momentum, landing a blow directly on the side of his face. My slashed arm hurts so much that I almost pass out from the pain, but I cannot be deterred now. I punch Shinji in the stomach and drive him against the wall.

Music: Stop

"You-" He manages to choke out, coughing, struggling to regain his breath. Shinji reaches out to fling my arms off. I kick his arms away without hesitation; at this point, even I cannot control myself. I take the arm that I kicked, ram it against the wall, and break it. I can't hear Shinji's scream too clearly. I...

I nearly give into the overwhelming urge to pass out. I'm not thinking clearly, and I'm having trouble focusing on reality. I'll faint if I let my guard down. I have to hurry, while my body can still move.

I grab Shinji by the hair and slam him against the wall once more.

"You can scream later. Stop the boundary field right now, Shinji." I wince in pain as he tries to pull away.

"Who are you kidding? Who would listen to-" I take my wounded arm and grab his throat. "-your...?" His eyes widen and he stares at my hand in shock, unsure of what is happening. Drips. My blood, soaked into my clothes, begins to stain Shinji's body.

"Then I'll just kill you; the boundary field goes away either way. I don't care which it is, but make up your mind quickly." I put power into the hand grabbing his throat. It must be because of the magical energy flowing through my body; I feel like I'd be able to break his neck.

"You're lying..." He chokes out. "You wouldn't do that, Emiya. I haven't killed anyone yet. I just had everyone share their life with-" Something like uncontrolled magical energy floods my circuits, and something very bad happens.

Music: Whirlpool of Fate

His voice stops.

His struggling stops.

"Shin-"

The sounds of Saber and Rider's struggle stops.

The boundary field stops.

"-ji?"

Something is wrong.

Something very wrong just happened.

His eyes roll back, and blood begins to drip from his mouth. My grip instantly releases from his neck. I watch in horror as it moves at an impossible angle, while his body falls to the ground. He begins to seize up; his body reacting to the utter lack of neural stimulus.

_**Dead, lifeless, and broken, the wretched worm writhes in agony. I am revolted by the sight of his corpse, not due to it's condition, or even due to the fact that he was my friend. It is simply because it was my hand that ended his life. A single uncontrolled burst of magic, an accident, that ended the life of another human being.**_

The overwhelming urge to vomit fills every ounce of my existence; but-

_**I killed him because I didn't have control. I was weak and he paid for my utter lack of talent.**_

\- but this was part of the war, wasn't it? I warned him, I told him if he didn't-

_**I'm a murderer; accident or not, another life was ended by my hand. What would Saber think? What would Rin? We all know we are in the middle of a war, but I believe this is the first blood spilled and it was by my hand.**_

\- release the boundary field that I would, but he didn't listen. This is-

_**What about Sakura? **_**This is her brother. No matter the relationship they had, she was his family. She will never forgive me if she finds out. But how could she? The Holy Grail War is waged in secrecy, and Shinji seemed convinced that his sister knew nothing of the Matou magecraft. Magic is only passed to the eldest child, right? So she wouldn't know, she wouldn't know because Shinji learned the family's magic she shouldn't even know the war exists, right?**

\- This is my friend. I threatened him, sure, but I never had any intention of killing him. He was weak; spineless. He was at a disadvantage, so he would give up the fight. That's how this was supposed to go. That's how this was supposed to be, so why - _**did I murder him?**_ \- did things have to be this way? _**To become a hero of course. This is part of what being a hero means. **_No that's wrong this isn't being a hero this is killing in cold blood _**b**__**ut it's not. To save the lives of the students, I had to take Shinji's. It's not a complex matter. I shouldn't be so hung up on it. **_A hero needs to be able to save everyone, and I failed in that task _**because it is insurmountable. Saving everyone is simply not possible for any man. Trying to will only leave me broken, and I know that, **_but it's what a hero of justice has to do!

Tears begin to pool in the corners of my eyes, and bile begins to rise in my throat. I hardly notice Rider fleeing. I hardly feel Saber's hand grab my shoulder. I hardly hear her voice calling out to me. Begging me to leave. Warning me that somebody might see Shinji's body. Reminding me that I'm standing over it, covered in _**his **_blood. I barely notice the vomit pouring out of my mouth. I barely notice the final movement Shinji Matou would make; a subtle twitch. I can practically feel him cursing me for what I've done to him. To this vile, wretched child, in this moment, I am what evil means to him. To Shinji Matou, I am _every evil in the world._

_**That's what being a hero means.**_

My eyes shut, my body goes limp, and I give into the exhaustion I felt before. I find myself falling into a once fond memory, that now holds no comfort.

"Saving one person means not being able to save another," Kiritsugu once told me. "A Hero can only save those who's side he's on." For the first time in my life, I truly understand what my Father meant by those words.

_**Being a Hero means only being a Hero to some, whether you'd care to admit it or not.**_

"Shirou!" I think I hear somebody calling to me... But that can't be. This is a dream. This isn't real, so Saber isn't real, so she can't be calling me. The idea that she could be real, that this could be real makes me lightheaded and nauseous. I don't like it. I'm so faint that I feel I could pass out at any moment. Being passed out in a dream? I think that could be nice.

_**Because a Hero is just as evil to his enemies, as his enemies are to him.**_

"Shirou, we need to leave, now!" Passing out in this dream especially. Because then I won't need to think about what would happen if I really did kill Shinji. All the thoughts would just go away, and then I'd wake up, and I'd be able to laugh about it. Sakura would be there, and so would Fuji-nee, and Sakura would see that something was wrong and we would cook something extra special and I would forget forget forget forget forget forget forget all about it and this will just be an-

_**This is reality.**_

\- unpleasant memory that would fade into obscurity.

_**The blood will never fade.**_

"Shirou, please, forgive me." I feel myself being lifted off the ground, and wind brushing past my body. "We need to escape." Silly Saber... It's just a dream. There's nothing to worry about. Really, she's just making the dream worse, making it seem so realistic. Because today I will wake up, and Shinji Matou will be fine... So I just need to sleep this off. I just wish she'd stop moving around so much; she's making it very difficult.


End file.
